Fast forward to the present, I feel lost (again, HAHAHA)
The inner child in me tells me that she does not want to work, even more so to be a burden to her family or friends. She doesn't want pork's fat either. What she wants to do is go places, meet faces, and just live. You know, be a nomad, or be like Forrest Gump. Sometimes she imagines herself to be Forrest Gump, and she hears the lines, "run Forrest, run." That line runs in her head like crazy. Even now, I can hear it screaming through her head.
I digress.
Maybe all these emotions are brought about by my recent "occupation" in life, a corporate slave. From the idealistic student, to the fresh grad, to the ever so loyal corporate slave. HAHAHA I guess I just miss the University - its people and culture, but I don't want to miss it so much that I actually miss this moment now.
I remember, I wanted to work for World Vision, but I didn't have the Christian commitment that they require; I let it go.
Again, I digress.
Into the wild- life after graduation is really journey into the wild. You fend for your own. Everything is new; everything is like a wild berry or a wild boar. Everything is wild. It's so fascinating and scary at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't raised in a sheltered environment, but even so, it's different. I'm just thankful that I get to meet with my friends at least once a week, to take me back home - to the safe place, to our sanctuary- a place with no pretense. My friends, they serve as my moral compass. They remind me of who I was, who I am, and who I will be, and should be. They make me jumpy and giddy too.
I guess, at the end of the day, I'm alive, so I'm going to carpe that freaking diem.
It's not necessary to be strong, but to feel strong (Into the wild, 2007).
Careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one (Into the wild, 2007)
P.S.
Reading my blog tells me what movies have made quite an impression to my young mind. Chos. HAHAHA
Forgive me for this post is so incoherent in thought and in pronouns.
One of the things I've learned when I graduated and landed my first job a little less than three years ago is that the real world is nothing like what I thought it was going to be.
ReplyDeleteIt will try to break you, in more ways than one. And I think that when people learn to accept that reality (which is harder to do than to say), then they'd find out that work (even it it means becoming a corporate slave) is more often than not a means to an end. If a person's interests aren't exactly reflected in the work they do, then at the very least use the things you earn to improve those things that matter - friends, travel, hobbies or whatever floats the boat.
I wish someone could have told me these sooner, but I'm guessing most people will deny it even if deep down they know it's true. Or my worldview is incredibly distorted, but I digress.
Disclaimer: May or may not be good advice. Take it with a grain of salt.
What you say makes so much sense that I sometimes seek refuge in that kind of thinking. I guess it's my defense mechanism to try and rationalize about things, to defend (to myself) my decisions and all.
Delete"I wish someone could have told me these sooner..." Then how did you feel about "reality" prior to "discovering" that your job is not necessarily an end?
Life outside the university is so ironic.
"Then how did you feel about "reality" prior to "discovering" that your job is not necessarily an end?"
ReplyDeleteWith regards to work (or the nature of the workplace), there are a few things that came as a shock to me, being the idealistic kid who thought that hard work was just that - hard work. I guess I didn't believe at first when others said that competition will be unfair - in the sense that 'skill' holds the same value as 'politics' as a way of getting ahead. Nor did I believe that there will be people who blatantly dissuade others to maintain the status quo that they're used to.
Things get much better though. Or maybe I just got lucky and ended up getting a much better gig.
Then there's always the 'dream job'. It's a bit of a far cry, but it's something I'd probably grab immediately in the unlikely chance that the opportunity presents itself.
Thanks for sharing, shorebot (come to think of it, idk what your name is). I hope that we both get what we want, in ways that we'll be proud of.
DeleteScrew that, I'll call you Harvin. HAHAHAHA, nice to meet you, I guess.
ReplyDeleteHaha, cheers! :)
DeleteI've seen you always as a headstrong person Arlet, then I saw you a sort of perplexed in this kind of thoughts. At the moment I could not completely relate to the feeling of being a corporate slave once you finish the schooling. But for the second thought, I'm happy you never felt lost. Because everyday in my life I feel most likely lost. HAHAHA. Wish I can have your Dora map too.
ReplyDeleteHi Mendy, you were always the generous (sort of easily exploited-kind of) person. I would hate to see you as a corporate slave. I never felt lost back in High School because it was so small. After college, everything got magnified, that was when I started to question my destination and the path I'm taking.
DeleteI wish you happiness! And stop turning me down, we all deserve a vacation :) #Baguio
Haha I don't like to turn you down I hope you have back-up options other than that, it's too far I might not be able to manage. :(
DeleteI don't :( It's either Baguio or nothing. It's not far, we'll only be riding a bus naman e. Come on, paalam ka muna :))
Delete