I consciously try to shape my notions of people by not giving in to certain stereotypes. I try not to be judgmental and biased to everyone. I try to be friendly (with a few exceptions: when I'm hungry, when I have menstrual cramps, or when I'm under any negative condition - but even then, I try to be respectful.) Still, I guess trying to be nice/positive can backfire too - especially if you're like me, a bad judge of character.
Sometimes, people try to take advantage of me because I SEEM like an easy target. I remember someone telling me that I should not smile when I'm in public places. He said that I should always look mad so people would avoid me. HAHAHA Although it makes sense, I find it counterproductive. In psychology, one's physical mood can affect one's real mood. Thus, if I pretend to be mad for too long, chances are I'll somehow be in a negative mood. This is because my body sends signals to the brain, which the brain then reads, and reinforce, blah blah blah.
Other times, people misunderstand your niceness, and this misunderstanding can be VERY frustrating - and creepy. And the creepiness makes me think that it's better to just appear mad all the time.
Then I remember my days as a volunteer for different projects back in High School. I got affected by mad people, while I felt extreme happiness when the others smiled at me, or thanked me profusely, or whatever. It felt good, to be smiled at.
Hmmm, it's still freaky for me to be "misunderstood", but whatever, if I didn't talk to strangers before, then I might not have any friends today. I guess I'll just have to stomach certain kinds of people/situations or better yet, be a good judge of character so I could discern and avoid the ones with ulterior motives.
P.S.
Companions say that I sometimes attract people with hidden agenda because of my appearance - that is unruly hair, piercings, and tattoos. Hmmm, regardless of how I look, a decent person is decent.
A decent person is decent.
Sometimes, I would smile when I'm in a public place and I think people believe I have lost my sanity. I do it because most of them are wearing sad faces.
ReplyDeleteI smile because I want to remind them how a single smile can affect their entire mood for the day.
It's fine to talk to strangers although some people would fake kindness just to take advantage of other people. We just need to be extra careful.
HAHAHA. I enjoyed this article seriously. You wouldn't believe that my default face now takes "the-looking-mad-don't-approach-me" manner. It's half helpful and disadvantageous at the same time. First, the less people would think you are grumpy and unapproachable, the less they are likely to discover your "kindness" and exploit you. And second, less friends. But isn't it better to have few friends who truly understands your real persona even if you are the most sadistic person in the world? A friend is a friend. Now I'm confused. HAHAHA. Maybe it's just better that way. I take it back. Wearing that kind of face would secure me in my tusk shell, only letting few people in. Even though this way, you have to be polite and respectful to other people. I'd rather be judged as a cold person than having to play a nice role all the time and disappoint them with their expectations towards me.
ReplyDeleteMiss you btw!
-Mendy