All or Nothing

Have you longed gravely for something so abstract, it drives you restless? Maybe a person, a sense of purpose or meaning? But you think it's frivolous, so you forget it and get on with life.

Then one day, the nagging voice whispers. At first, it tiptoes not wanting to disturb your carefully crafted life. Then all at once, it goes into a stampede, asking you to throw everything away, all or nothing, my way or no way, and creating chaos inside your head, twisting your stomach into knots.

Perhaps it's true, when we find ourselves wanting everything, we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.



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So many years have passed.

I loved the corporate world.
I quit the corporate world due to quarterlife crisis
I returned to the corporate world.
I solo traveled and learned from it.
I almost gave up hiking.
I had my heart broken.

I still don't know what I want,
But I am willing to give whatever I may like a shot,
Even if it turns out to be a mistake.

I won't settle down for the sake of keeping up.
I'll keep searching for what excites and inspires me.
I'll keep trying and quitting, trying and quitting, trying and quitting,
Until I find something that I do not want to quit on.

I will be okay going back to zero and staying there,
If the ten I got does not make me happy after all.

I don't have assurance of success,
Only conviction that what I want could exist,
Only if I dared to find it.

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Happy new year everyone! Cheers to those who dare! Cheers to those who don't! And cheers to our family and friends who will take us in no matter how many times they told us so 😂


Tita Arlet