Diagnosing Oneself

"Maybe you are depressed?"

Asked by my friend during our little Christmas reunion last December. 

"I would never have imagined that you're experiencing 'quarter life crisis', you travel and go out a lot; I saw your Facebook account."

Stated another friend 

Aren't you too young for that, you're what, 21? 22?

Remarked another

For the record, I am not depressed. I don't even feel sad. I'm not satisfied with the present though - and no, it's not because of my relationship status. People who insist so are not listening, not to mention annoying. 

Well, that's about it. The quarterlife crisis never ended, perhaps because I never solved it a year ago. 

You thought I'll end this post with something like, "But it's all good now- thanks to all the people around me, and cheers a to a bright future ahead of us all!" HAHAHA, sorry to burst your bubble I'm still in the muddle, and it has been inertia for a while now. I'm afraid to take that leap of faith (which is ironic because people and surveys tell me I'm brave - see below result for a sample.)

I have a faint idea of what I want in life, but maybe I'm still afraid to act upon it for fear of assured failure, and then judgement, or maybe I'm afraid to look stupid (society likes to make fun of average people who try their hardest or maybe I'm just judging myself prematurely - declaring myself a loser before I even sign up for the battle. This paragraph has easily become an unregulated thought space.) HAHAHA never mind.

Look, I recently took a survey on character strengths at viame.org. And my results are not at all surprising.

Character strengths of Arlet as of 2014 according to VIA inventory

1. Bravery
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

2. Honesty
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

3. Judgment
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

4. Perspective
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

5. Perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

My least character strengths are love, leadership, forgiveness, kindness, and humility. I have qualms on leadership though because the survey describes a leader as someone who will prioritize peace and harmony in the group. If that is a leader, then that is really not me. Logically speaking, I think my character strengths (excluding honesty) according to the survey determines what a leader should be. Now you understand why humility is one of my least character strengths. HAHAHA 

Cheers to a good person! (even if kindness, forgiveness, and love are rated as my least character strengths HAHAHA)

Arlet

Edit 2019

My new results for top strengths are bravery, honesty, judgment, curiosity, love of learning. My new weaknesses are humility, kindness, zest, hope, spirituality

Edit 2021

My new results for top strengths are love of learning, leadership, prudence, honesty, fairness. My new weaknesses are humor, kindness, zest, humility, hope

My result seem to be a factor of growing up and maturing - losing my youthfulness, idealism, and jump head first attitude. And since I became a manager, what I want is just to grow my people so they can replace me or do things completely without me. I don't feel like climbing the ladder anymore, but I want to be the ladder for them.